MINISCULE MONSTII

this is were i put thoguts and words that are too small to be proper blog posts, at the top is the oldest, bottom is the newest. i update this whenever i want.

i dump blinkies and stamps here.

fumbles

drawings

i listened to satellite lover's album "sons of 1973" like yesterday. it reminded me of early columbia era carnation, i quite liked it.

the youtube channel that had uploaded carnation concerts (and lots of other carnation media) got deleted :( to be honest when i found out i almost cried. the 1997 live in tokyo had some of my favorite performances, and im afraid im never going to see them again. im slightly mad at myself for not downloading the videos when i had the chance, so them being lost could be avoided. i THINK i have the mp3 for the end of summer on my chromebook but im not sure. also, i could look to see if anyone archived them on the internet archive... since all of the concerts were proshots, there should be physical copies out there somewhere, but im probably not getting those anytime soon. hopefully they arent completely lost media.

update: a listing for the booby show dvd (the 1997 show) has shown up on amazon, but its over 300 dollars. i dont have that kind of money. its a two-disc set with concert footage on the first dvd and music videos on the second. i noticed that the the full first cd wasnt uploaded to youtube, at least im pretty sure? there was a song at the end of the inside listing that i didnt recognize.

update update: i found out the moonriders 30th anniversary live (that was posted by the same person) was taken down because of a copyright claim by a "media craft ltd." (有限会社　メディアクラフト) i have no idea who that is. and when i google it it shows some software developing company? ughhhhhrgs,kjdrsk.jgsjh i dont know what they have to do with moonriders or carnation, (or monday michiru for that matter, as that channel also uploaded mondy michiru concerts) but they shouldnt be suprised if they find their houses leveled by a death beam!

updatw on the amazon listing: the price has dropped down to 155 USD, which really makes me more than alittle tempted to buy it myself... i dont know!! graaghh i try not to drop big mounts of money on thing like that but like, its carnation. my favorite thing ever. i dont know!!!!!!!! also, the seller has a mixed number of 5 and 1 star reviews, with some people saying that that seller is a scammer. (there was also people saying that they recieved their package with no problems other than long waiting times...) the listing has pictures of the inside, both dvds, and a scan of the back, which i havent seen anywhere else. reverse image searching shows that the images most likely are original, and having a pretty obsure dvd set of a live show that nobody knows about is a weird thing to lie about, even if its pretty valuable. looking at the seller they are based in poland and sell other random video games, movies and cds. in their own words, they specialze in thing that have been discontinued. should i take the risk???? IDK. i should probably go make a social meida post about it and get some second opinions.

i downloaded spotify for the first time a few weeks ago, and i thought it was super amazing and convenient! ...for the first two weeks. i didnt know that spotify gives you premium for free the first two weeks. when it ran out, i was baffled! appaled! it doesnt let you listen to the songs you want to??? its doesnt even let you listen to albums in the proper order!!! thats like reading a book with the chapters out of order!!!!!what!!!!!! im okay with the limited amount of skips and the ads, but that i cant get behind!!! its not horrible listening to my playlists shuffled, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. i will probably use the 3-month premium free trial and cancel it before i have to pay. i wont uninstall spotify, as i have found a lot of good songs through it, but it probably wont be my primary music listening source.

my highschool is doing the addams family for the school musical this year!!! last year my theatre teacher talked about doing little shop of horrors and i was quite excited, but i dont think we wouldve been able to make a good-looking audrey II. ive never watched or listened to the addams family musical, so im not sure if its good or not, but im still excited!!!

i want to be like mikado koda when i grow up. shes so cool!!!!!

i finally have enough cute clothes so i can start dressing a little nicer. it took me a little bit to figure out what i like and what looks good on me, but with the help of some confidence and the power of thrift stores i figured it out!!!

ftel is finally done!!! i'll wait until tomorrow to post it tho. I feel like this took me way longer than it should have, but i also feel like it took me just the right amount of time? technically, i made the first two songs in the latter end of last school year, but i didnt really think of realeasing them in an album at the time. the thought come to me about a month or two ago? i think? some time during the latter end of summer, methinks. ive actually made a lot more songs than the ones on the album, but on a different software. (those will take a while to be realesed, technical difficulties!!) so, when i think about it, ive been a lot more productive than i thought. i guess i got all caught up in missing the deadline that i kind of forgot that im not as much as a failure as i like to think i am (LOL) also, all the times that i wasnt making music, i was either busy with other, more or less important things (personal projects, irl responsibilities) or just being mentally unstable. (and not really in the mindset to make music AT ALL.)

so, i guess im kind of okay. but i really should either set more realisitic goals for myself or get my shit together. probably both.

I HATE VRISKA

life simply has not been going my way recently! i left my self out in the open and my worst enemy took the chance to strike: mental instability!!! its okay though, i have been trained to mercilessly kill anyone and anything that stands in my way. which is to say, things have been looking up a little in the past few days. cool huh? ive been itching to make things for sooo loong but i kind of dont want to or else i'll just work and work and neglect my other callings in life! i have a simple solution to this however!!! the revolutionary technology that is having a schedule!!!! ive already planned my weekdays out, (although the non-unifomity of my weeks puts kind of a wrench in my plans) and hope to start a project soon.

on a slighty-related note, ive moticed that when i started reading homestuck (about when ftel came out) i started not being too great, but now that im almost done with it im starting to feel a little better. i know damn well this cant be a simple coincidence, that webcomic is cursed and i should have kept my vow to never read it ever. oh well though, at least it introduced me to problem sleuth. (a way better webcomic) but still, damn you hussie!!!

mini rant about homestuck: ITS SO WEIRD. reading homestuck is like witnessing a major tragedy. once you read it, it just never leaves you! you can read it, think its mid, and still find yourself referencing and thinking about it. so mant times ive though "wow i really dont want to be reading this" YET I STILL DO and most of the time i skim the lengthy-ass pesterlogs because theres only like 20% important info and 80% fucking around or trying or using big words and i get that the story isnt really the focus and its supposed to be a comedy before everything but it just really gets tiring after pages and fucking pages of it y' know? its like wow i dont care this is really kind of stupid but also a lot of the character writing is great diolouge is natural and funny and the concept and art but it all gets dragged by shitty plot and convoluted lore and from reading his previous works hussie is great at coming up with memorable characters but when it comes to plot its just not it. its confusing a lot of the time and some sort of political/societal allegory? i think where hussie works best is when hes working with someone else and reflecting off of them, as shown with most of problem sleuth and early homestuck but when hes doing somethig where the plots 100% him he gets caught up in something. i dont know what it is, but its something? late homestuck and (from what ive read about) psycholonials have the same kind of shit with it and blug glbgusjhfvskj;kogigrihorgaio h ;mskm;afmk;lAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

OH ALSO

fuckin. the part where vriska confronts her dead cream bubble self and just like kind of shits on her? thats one of the few times ive read a story or whatever and have just been like. what the fuck? it just comes out of nowhere and all of a sudden fuck vriskas character development, shes now the most important character in homestuck™ and meebah breaks up with her which really was for the better because that (their relationship) also came out of nowhere? but still. suddenly everyone loves her and think shes an AMAZING person who we could have NEVER SURVED WITHOUT. i thought her "heres why you suck" speech towards herself came out of nowhere and was needlessly cruel? maybe thats the point and in that case jokes on me but even then its just not great writing

ok rant over :3

that wasnt really supposed to be rational criticism btw. most of its probably been said a million times already, anyway. just venting some thoughts about that darn webcomic!

go read cucumber quest.

literally me when i finished homestuck

motherfucking life update bitches: i finished homestuck the night i wrote all of the paragraph above! i felt a weight lift of off my soul and get this: I HAD A GREAT DAY THE NEXT DAY!!! i barely had any bad feelings at all in fact! it was the greatest day ive had in the past month!! im never going to homestuck.com ever again!!!!!!!!

Halloween was pretty fun. i never get to go outside at night it it was pretty nice!!!

something i heard while trick or treating: "I got cologne is that normal?" followed immediately by "I got ramen!"

hands very dry. peeling. not good.

need to work need to work need to work!! work work!!! the work jam!! work work wo-wo-work HEY work work wo-wo-work HEY work work wo-wo-work HEY REMIX w-w-wo-w-work ay imma work until my sock falls straight off my rock into a hard-knock with a cock (ROOSTER) off the clock that'll lock IN because im WORKING IM A HARD WORKING MAN LIVING A HARD WORKING PLAN BITCH YEAHHHHH

i fuck with sharks heavy

imma ride my chevy

to the levy

but the levy was dry

sayin this will be the day that i die

this'll be the day that i die...

MY MY THIS HERE ANAKIN GUY
MAYBE VADER SOMEDAY LATER
NOW HES JUST A SMALL FRY

HE LEFT HIS HOME AND KISSED HIS MOMMY GOODBYE
SAYIN
SOON IM GONNA BE A JEDI
SOON IM GONNA BE A JEDIIIIIIII

i tried sprite winter spiced cranberry the other day and it was okay. noting insane. tasted like fruit then just kinda like regular sprite but better

THERE ARE REAL LIFE PEOPLE LOOKING AT MY STUFF SDUKSKGDJSGD<HJSDJ<GSDV<JSJFDS<JSFSFJDFSs,

its really windy and theres a cat or a kitten outside and i CAN HEAR IT MEOWING I WANT TO BRING IT INSIDE BUT I CANTTT UGHH I FEEL SO BAD

a list of things that have helped me on my astronomy final:

-homestuck

i got some cds from half price books the other day, i found some promisinf jazz and even a ryuichi sakamoto cd! i was so happy! but i think the lady at the counter thought i was weirded out by me obsessively poring over every single cd they had LOL

IM DONE LYING TO MYSELF. I ACTUALLY DONT MIND CHRISTMAS MUSIC ALL THAT MUCH. its pretty okay.

i hurt my ears listening to music too loud again :(

ive been wanting to go outside so much but i cant outside of school!!!! ive been tempted to lie about having an after school thing to walk to a park like 10mins from my school but im honestly a little scared! my biggest act of teenage rebellion is wearing my halloween sweater even thoguh its december. (my grandma wanted me to change but i didnt. lamest defiance ever!!!)

my schools run of the addams family has come and went, and i had a pretty fun time. its probably been our best musical for a great while (our last two were pretty scuffed) mostly because of some really dedicated newcomers to our theatre program.

speaking of theatre, we did a white elephant at our christmas/cast party and i brought the BEST GIFT. it was a led disco toilet light, a doritos ornament, some hello kitty stickers two plastic lizards and A TINY PLASTIC ALIEN. EVERYONE LUGHED and i felt VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.

been having some good social interactions lately. im growing, getting better! soon i'll be able to initiate meaningful conversations! ohohohoho

christmas break is starting and im going to use all this pent up energy to get stuff done!!! ive already started working on some songs (mostly just wisps, noting really solid) and ive just been itching to do all sorts of thing but ive been holding myslef back! no more of that, back to full throttle monstii!!!!1 (pause?)

ive stopped relying on scales while composing and i honestly cant go back. its a lot harder but feels so much more freeing and fun! makes me relize that i actually have improved and learned things.

i have been drawing SO MUCH lately its actually kind of epic. ive gotten to a point were i can make arts that i like and am satisfied with its really cool

a little while ago a came across a blog that stopped posting in like 2011 and it's was talking about like some real scary stuff like people dying running away from something stabbing or killing someone and I was like oh shit wtf did I stumble upon and I did some more looking and it was just a dude role-playing being hunted by the rake LOL 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

FACE REVEAL!!!!!

keep scrolling....

almost there....!

BOOM!!!!

OFF IS GETTING GETTING REREALEASED?!?!?!?!?

WITH NEW STUFF????

MORTIS GHOST THANK YOUUUUU

AAAAAAAAAA

useful graph.

i'd like to highlight this little gem from the 3D movie maker wiki:

i went through so much trouble to make softboiled eggs only to discover i like hardboiled better #fml

can i catch i break like goddamn ?!

recreation of a bumper sticker i saw today

update: i looked it up and its a chappel roan thing i guess :shrug:

if you look past my chronic rbf or rwff (resting war flashback face) youll find my joyous nature and whimsical antics

resting war flashback face isnt a joke btw when i space out i look like this

honest kids berry good lemonade is proof that god is real and he loves us

(btw the jesus picture i dl'd for this was more than 2000x2000 wtf

dude i had like 5 nightmares the other night

anyone who thinks im really serious or grumpy obviously looks past my joyous nature and whimsical tendencies