How to make a nice bowl of whatever the fuck

 i dont have a picture for this you'll have to take my word for it. this makes like one serving.

you will need:

- 1 russet potato (mine was pretty small like as big as my palm)

- 1 roma tomato

- 2 slices of oscar meyer(TM ) cotto salami

- stubbs(TM )  legendary bbq sauce (TM ) 

i specify on the bbq sauce because of its unique taste. for example if you used sweet baby rays or something itll taste different but i cant control you.

- teriyaki sauce (savory, not sweet, you could probs just use soy sauce too)

- salt, pepper, paprika 

- oil ( i used vegtable)

- one pan and one pot

i think this could be pretty good if you put in some pasta as well. i'll try that next time.

i dunno how much sauce and seasoning i used. the final product should be a little saucy though.

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okay start off by cubing the potato. i took the skin off put you could keep the skin on. i cut it into fairly sized pieces but i think dicing it more would be good. boil it in water with salt pepper and paprika (follow your heart when it comes to measuring) until you can stick a knife into them real easy. 

while your potatoes are boiling take your roma tomato and and also cube it. i cut it like if you were making tacos. put the tomatoes into you pan (i had a little non-stick one) with a little bit of oil and let them simmer over medium heat while you prepare your salami.

take two (2) thin slices of salami and cut them up pretty small. put them into the pan with the tomatoes. at this point i also put in some more oil. stir your concoction a little and then put in your bbq sauce. i stirred it around a little more and then let it simmer until the potatoes were done. i think it simmered for like a minute or two? 

(dance break (mandatory))

once your potatoes are done drain the water and put the potatoes in the pan. i also put more salt, pepper, and paprika. just a little bit. stir your meal until all the potatoes are covered in sauce (oh dont forget the teriyaki/ soy sauce. just a dash. a smidge even) and then let the whole thing simmer for like another two-three minutes. for reference, the tomatoes were mushy and the salmi was browned. it shouldnt be super saucy but you can still tell its has sauce. it was also burned a little on the bottom. a healthy amount. once it seems good enough turn off the heat and serve it on a plate or bowl... whatever.

and boom, you just made yourself a nice sodium filled meal. enjoy! 

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honestly just was put me putting things from my fridge into a pan and basically stir-frying it. im glad it came out as good as it did, although it might be too salty if you dont like salty things. stay tuned for more adventurous culinary delights

ice cream cake

 i hate it when ice cream cake is like 90% ice cream!!!!! its called ice cream cake, if i wanted a hunk of ice cream with frosting on top i wouldve asked for that!!!!!! who the hell do you think i am?!?!?!!?  

what keeps me going?

this is a question that ive asked myself a lot lately.

if im being completely honest, i havent had the best life. im pretty sure i came out of my mothers womb with mental problems, and situations (vague) involving my family havent really helped. all my aspirations i had growing up have fizzled and i find myself without a solid direction. day to day life is a great struggle to me. often times i feel like a divorced father. i guess in laymans terms, i see no reason for myself to live. 

upon hearing that, you may think: "no reason to live...?! monstii no!! dont kill yourself!!!" but you misinterpret me! i dont want to die! which is where my confusion begins... i suppose. kind of. well, ive noticed a unique phenomena in my life which i find interesting and slightly disturbing. 

as ive said before, life has offered me no shortage of turmoil over the years. however, if i had to pinpoint i specific time where it started getting really bad, it would have to be middle school, 7th grade. the only time i actually seriously considered killing myself. (i dont wish to elaborate further, but it was pretty stupid.) obviously, i didnt, (or did i? i could be a ghost.) but that ideation has haunted me over the years in my darkest moments. my darkest moments... thats the point i was trying to get to. 

when a character's family dies, or he loses his powers, his lifes work gets destroyed, his enemy grows to be unstoppable or whatever, he hits rock bottom. the despair event horizon. then, after days, weeks, months have past, he looks at himself in the mirror, or maybe his best friend sits down and talks with him, perhaps someone slaps him in the face, and says "what the hell are you doing?!?" the character realizes: "what the hell am i doing!?! i have a goal to accomplish/ life to live!!!" or whatever. then he claws himself out of the pit hes been in and goes on to fight the good fight. you see, thats happened to me. way too much. 

im really not sure when it started, i think sophmore year of highschool when i first felt actually started feeling emotions. (wish i was joking there) up until then, i wasnt necessarily at rock bottom, but some strange state of being where i had cast away my humanity and lived something like a robot. inside i was some husk of a person, living as someone that deep down i wasnt, or maybe didnt want to be. i looked at myself, and i told myself, i cant live like this. ("what the hell are you doing?!?") so, i made the effort to change. i got involved on my school community, made friends, started dressing the way i wanted to, and i was honest with myself with what i really wanted in life. that was a big help, being brutally honest with myself. even if it made me vastly different from everyone else. (which, in hindsight actually helped me make friends!) for the first time in my life, i was happy. really happy! its when i first has the thought; "its great to be alive in this world." 

however, life sometimes has other plans for you. sure, personally i put myself on the track to be a healthier, happier person, but its not like my QOL actually changed all that much. i still lived with my family and i still had crazy anxiety. i still didnt have much freedom and i started having trouble at school. also a certain event happend that would prove to be a constant source of struggle in the coming years. it turned into a constant struggle of

despression --> wait get better!!! --> fight fight fight! --> im losing steam. --> depression --> repeat.

i got myself caught up in a battle of extreme highs and extreme lows that has lasted until relatively recently. i hate being depressed, but keeping that "high" is unrealistic and takes up so much energy. ive come to realize that keeping a "middle" is a much more viable option in terms of maintaining my mood. whenever i find myself at that "low", i keep in mind that its not the end of the world. i cant really tell myself "what the hell are you doing?!?" every time i feel depressed. imagine your friend staging a huge intervention every time you got depressed. thats what i was doing to myself. pretty stupid. for a little bit i thought i became apathetic, but i came to the conclusion that i really shouldnt let my emotions run so rampant.

all that i didnt even answer the question at hand. now to be honest, i actually kinda already knew, but its still an enigmatic part of me that writing all that spew above kinda helped me process. 

to put it curtly: i keep going because i can. or rather, i cant not keep going. i really have nothing else to do. "going" is my default state. giving up is out of the question because it never was a question in the first place. im much like a shark. if one day i decided to stop doing whatever it is im doing, i would die. the notion of "giving up" to me is also like the notion of randomly attacking someone i pass on the street; like, yeah, i could, but i wouldnt, cause thats stupid.

why am i like this?

another question i find myself asking recently. why am i like this? other people have told me, and i am pretty aware, that im a pretty unique person. not in a "rare gemstone" way, but more in a "Doctor Gonzo" way. "huh, thats not something you see everyday". i often wonder why im like this, and ive come up with various potential psychological and societal reasons for why i came out the way i came out, but at the end of the day its just the way that i am. i am the way that i am, because i was born a human in this day and age on this funny planet we call earth. i am the way that am because i exist, and i dont think i really need a reason to exist. to me, asking why im like this and why i keep going is like asking me the meaning of life. how the hell am i supposed to know?! it is just because it is??? do you really need answer that badly?!? why do you keep on living, if youre so smart???? fuck off!!!!

maybe i should go to therapy. 

common summer problems

 due to a number of factors, i often find myself stuck in my house during summer or other school breaks. this causes me to waste my time online working on projects that usually go nowhere. its pretty depressing. this also makes it so that i hardly have any memories of summer, so there are large gaps in my memory between school the years. this summer, being the last summer of my "youth", i wanted things to be different. i wanted to grow a spine! go out there and do some cool stuff! and... ive done some cool stuff. relatively. my initial idea of going on adventures around the city proved to be kinda unrealistic... and my usual family problems have made my life quite hectic... but also due to those same family problems i got to spend a good amount of my summer living alone, free to do whatever i want. those ~two months will go down in monstii history as a highly formative period in time of self discovery. (to be honest, most of what ive done is explore my neighbor hood. i went to the mall and a library once, but ive come to realize i hate taking the bus.) 

right now as i write this blog post im stuck inside again. my family is back home and its so hot out... and my depression has made me want to nothing but sleep all day. here i am... with those same feelings. the feeling of being trapped, waiting for school to start again as an escape from my home life. once again... ive become stagnant. 

to ensure i actually do remember all the things ive done over the summer, ive been taking pictures and videos on a camera ive had since like, fifth grade? ive never really had much use for it until now. looking back at all the photos ive taken has given me a little more resolve. mostly its just pictures of flowers i thought looked interesting... but they remind me of the feelings i had at the time when taking the picture. this summer has actually been very long for me. ive gotten over a lot... i think i can go through some more. summers not over yet. 

(i was listening to CURE -strawberry road version- by honeydip when i was writing this. it made me emotional. silly movie moments like that are among the things that keep me going.) 

college students

the other day, i went to my college to finish registering for classes. and something that left an impression on me was the people. or rather, the students. if i were to imagine a "college student" in my head, those are the kind of people i wouldve imagined. it was kind of surreal. 

young, fit, twenty-somethings with extensive skincare routines that probably visit their local cafe for matcha every morning. tote bags, pimple patches. i met a girl with dyed eyebrows and a girl that looked like she stepped right out of the advertisements at a lululemon store. when i was waiting in line at the student resources center, a person with a military backpack and a singular pin that read "GENDER IS DRESS UP". college students... im a college student. from the outside looking in, do i look like all of these other people? 

as i wrote this blog post, i thought about comparing "myself" to the "average college student". then, i realized, does that even exist? if theres something that school taught me, its that people are both stranger than you think and more normal than you think. its easy to think of people as 2-D characters, or "stereotypes", and then lump big groups of people together and pretend that they all live the same life, have the same personality, so on so forth. i have no idea who those people are. who am i to treat them like some "other", when for all i know they could be walking enigmas? sure, a lot of them could share the same views or have similar personalities, but that doesnt mean they are carbon copies of each other.  everyone that i saw at my college has at least 20 years of life experience on them, and who knows what happend from the moment they came out of the womb to going to a community college? one of the strangest persons ive ever met also happend to be the most "background characters" ive ever met. he didnt have a single "special" or "cool" interest, but ive never known i guy so fundamentally out-of-the-ordinary! some of the most normal and "un-cool" people ive met are the kids with dyed hair and social anxiety at art club! every person you pass on the street or briefly interact with online is a whole lifes worth of ideas and experiences and i think thats what makes life so beautiful, and so strange. judging people based on superficial aspects is an act against god and thats probably the most extreme opinion you'll get from me. good night. 

on the topic of college and career choices

in the next month, i will attending college. the college im going to, despite being a two-year community college, has a great number of opportunities and accommodations. of them is multiple choices for pathways in the music major, which is my major. there is music business, composition, education, therapy, and some others im forgetting. for the longest time i assumed i would be taking the composition path, but that thought greatly unnerved me. at first, i didnt want to go to college because i felt like i'd be wasting my time and money. however, i got a scholarship that paid off my whole schooling which changed my mind. studying composition and music theory? sounds like a dream come true! at first. as i thought about it a lot more, i realized that as much as i love writing music and understanding it in a mathematical sense, i dont know how much learning more about it would actually help me move my life forward. ive already taught myself the basics back in my freshman year of highschool and ive been writing music ever since. its very fun. but the prospect of doing it to put food on my table? not exactly appealing. ive already accepted the fact that i would have to work very hard in order to make a living in the realm of music, but due to my fundamental nature i feel like committing to something as loose as trying to make it as an artist or composer would lead me to some form of uncertain doom. i wouldnt have something to work too, which is the biggest problem. with something like artistry, the "common goal" is to "make it", usually by being famous or at least known enough that you can make things and people will pay you for it. the ideal of a artist is to put yourself out there so the "right audience" finds you, allowing yourself to be free to make things that you like and make you happy, with the bonus of being paid for it. in our modern society, the associated grind with that sort of goal is doing things like posting consistently on social media, engaging with fans, networking, doing commissions, that sort of thing. that sort of life is impossible to me. 

also, if i were to pursue a life that consists of primarily making artwork and music, i would drive myself insane. by nature i am a perfectionist, and also very solitary in terms of creative projects. whenever i have worked on a creative project, ive felt a need for a certain "something" in my art thats figuratively larger than me. you know how some artist characters in movies are, highly neurotic over their work not having a certain "feeling" or not being able to portray their worldview sufficiently? thats how i get. i feel the overwhelming need to perfect my art. and if i fully gave into that feeling, (or i guess "applied myself" fully to art,) i would work tirelessly and obsessively and for what? in a independent creative career, your "work" is only half the battle. no matter how many songs you write or pieces you create, you still have the matter of selling and advertising, which is a whole other can of worms, especially in our age of internet where there are thousands of other people making things just like you. and in my case i have an irrational dislike of interacting with people online, which makes that sort of path even worse for me. 

that being said, in the case of interacting with people in real life, its quite the opposite. i love people in real life. for most of my life i have thought of myself as something of a lone wolf, someone who prefers to be by himself. however, as i have gone through highschool and have said hello and goodbye to a lot of amazing (and not so amazing, but otherwise very interesting) people, ive realized how sentimental i am and how much i love being around other people, especially when working towards a common goal. (thanks, theatre!)  ive grown a lot in terms of interacting and understanding people and social conventions, and i realized it would be a big waste to go and live my life in solitude after growing to love people and having friends, especially after living my whole life scared of making connections and talking to others. then, this train of thought made me realize the kind of life i would like to live going foward, which still has to do with music, but in a different scene than actually writing music for a living. 

i think that everyone has a "thing". something that theyre really into. something that feels natural to spend hours dedicated to. for me, my "thing" is music, but ive come to realize music isnt what makes me feel "alive". or, it isnt the "driving force" thats kept me going all these years. its not what i "live for". i didnt realize that the things you love doing as a hobby are different than the things you'd love doing as a career. i think its like the difference between your best friend and your spouse. 

once i realized that, i felt pretty scared. i was in denial about that fact for a while because that train of thought questions the path i was dedicated to pursuing. if i dont live for music, then what do i live for?what would i be truly comfortable doing as a career path? the answer right now is... im not sure. but i have a pretty good idea of the direction i do want to go in, which incorporates my love for music and my desire to work with people. 

for all of my highschool life, i was a dedicated member of the theatre program. i did every show and showed up to as many events as i could. i'd say about half of my time in highschool was in the auditorium. while i'd like to say i was so dedicated to doing theatre because i love theatre, (for the record i do love theatre but not as much as music) i think the main reason i stayed is because the people and the work. i made lots of friends and acquaintances doing theatre, and i learned how to interact with people without dying. i slowly fell in love with getting to know a great variety of people from different backgrounds and aspirations, and i think the most magical part of it was seeing so many different people get along and work very hard together towards a goal. that part was great too, a lot of the time the work was hard or tedious, and added a lot to my already big workload from school and home, but in the end it felt worth it to contribute something and be apart of something bigger that goes on to be great show. in a perfect world, i'd like go on to work in an environment like that. which is what lead me to choose the music business program over the composition program.

at the college that im going to, the music business program puts together a music festival called "fredstock" in the spring. of course, thats not the only reason why i chose the music business program, but i guess thats what really settled the score for me. i'd really like to have the experience of being apart of putting something like that together. right now, its seems like a dream. of course, im probably romanticizing it in my head, but im an optimist by nature. at the very least, i'd like to have the experience of being apart of a rock concert at least once. in my opinion, theres really nothing like live performance. and im now realizing... yeah i really do live performance dont i? not being apart of the performance, mind you, but being backstage. the unsung heroes of all live shows: the tech crew! i dont know. whatever. its not really whatever. im very excited about this whole thing. 

and if i hate it...? im still young, i'll figure something out.

‽

 im upset because 'interrobang' is a already taken band name. its a really good band name. if interrobang ever breaks up, im stealing it.

"best friend date", a rare good day

on my 18th birthday, i didnt do anything. its a rather bad memory now, but ive made my peace with it. my best friend felt bad and took me out to the movies. we saw supergirl. 

supergirl was good. not great, but not bad either. i liked it. a lot more than what i was expecting. lobo was in it, which was unexpected to me, who is only vaguely familiar with the character. he was a highlight of the movie, probably my favorite part. whenever he wasnt on screen i found myself wondering, "where is lobo?!" but i feel like he got his time to shine without overstaying his welcome. i thought he was very cool, i am biased towards characters with motorcyles. 

its worh mentioning that the weather that day was fantastic. although, my definition of fantastic is different than usual i think. that day san antonio had the worst storm in a while, we even had a tornado that messed up some buildings. however, i love stormy weather. im not sure why, i just do. my very scarce childhood memories are car rides during storms or heavy rain... its just something about it... im not sure. i hope it rains again soon.

after the movie ended we walked to a nearby sams club to get some pizza. very cheap, very yummy. i also got an icee, which i havent had in forever. after we finished eating we walked around the store. we went to the cold fruit & vegetable room ( a personal favorite of ours) and we pretended to be parents looking at baby stuff. we wondered if this is what being an adult is like.

after that i hung out at her house for a little bit. we watched another movie, the latest hunger games. ive never read or watched the hunger games, so i thought the main character (a young president snow) was a good guy until i looked him up. 

my best friend's house is very warm. not temperature wise, but vibe-wise. ive known her long enough to be considered "one of the family". her parents often joke about adopting me. her couch reclines and its really comfy. her brother and her sister are really funny. i like going to her house. 

when i came back home, i found it to be empty. apparently my dad and my grandma are both back in the hospital on separate incidents. this happened last month as well. it was a really good day. 

memories of the fourth of july

 i wasnt able to go downtown and see the fireworks like i wanted — i wanted videos of fireworks for my summer picture diary — i went to the store down the street to get ice cream and root beer for a root beer float — a firework went off as i was heading back home and i stood on the street corner waiting for more like an idiot

a house close to mine was popping fireworks so i got some good shots of those — after they stopped i just waited on my front lawn to see if i could see some over the houses around me — outside in the middle of the night drinking root beer and singing the national anthem to myself — the sight of my neighbor, shirtless, skipping out his door whistling the chopsticks riff — overall not the worst fourth of july ever

upcoming birthday

as i sit here right now on my bed, at my computer, it is two days before my birthday. my 18th birthday. as i sit here writing this blog post, i realize that the final summer of my youth has already reached a middle point. what a confusing summer it has been, terrible in many ways that summer usually is for me, but also exciting and hopeful, in many ways that summer has not before. this summer marks a great shifting point as i stand at what feels to be a cliff, with a tumultuous past behind me on the level ground and a scary, yet bright jump ahead, with no idea what waits for me at the bottom. (for some reason writing ridiculously eloquent helps me portray my feelings better. please bear with me)

kaito gifset i made forever ago

 

i dont remember what video i sourced these from. ill update when i find it.

update: i cannot for the life of me find this video anymore. :/

sunny

 finished sunny by taiyo matsumoto today. the last chapter broke my heart. i hope those kids makes it out alright.

 the people over at bomb pops are so full of themselves. the serving size is three popsicles!!! who eats three frozen treats in one sitting!?

shoujo boyfriend

 whenever i read shoujo manga i think... "i want a boyfriend!" and then i chastise myself for being delusional. but then again... its a normal feeling, that a lot of people feel. its okay to feel that, but i shouldnt mix reality with shoujo. in real life, you cant expect a boy to say "im going to protect you forever!" and be able to follow on that promise, no matter how much you or him actualy want to. its unfair for others and yourself to have such high expections... and as much as a boy in a shoujo manga can make your heart throb, getting to know a boy in real life is much more interesting, isnt it? a boy in real life has a past and future not bound to a predetermined story, and real life doesnt follow the same story beats or character archetypes that a shoujo can have. life isnt made to be read by teenaged girls and serialized weekly in a magazine. life is messy and can be as overwhelming or underwhelming, and is more bittersweet than any shoujo manga can ever be, which makes it so much more worth experiencing... i think. idk. 

reading a good shoujo manga makes me think way too much. 

(im reading "high school debut" btw, its really really good so far the leads are SO cute)

scary thing that happend to me like RIGHT NOW (okay like an hour ago)

 hi hello my name is monstii and i enjoy the free will of going outside for walks. 

right now its summer in texas, so the sun is so bright during the day that you'd probably actually die if you were outside too long. (or at least, I'D die.) so i decided to go outside once the sun started setting. it was still light outside, though. 

ive been outside late, and i live in a pretty okay neighborhood so i wasnt really scared at all, but this encounter actually made me kinda scared of going out late lol. 

my usual walking route takes me past my highschool and towards a main street, then either i turn around or go across the street where theres an HEB and some thrift stores, usually takes me like less than an hour.

...thats not really important. 

as im going up on my highschool, (which is in the middle of the neighborhood,) i see this kid about my age (maybe about a year or two younger, idk) walking in the opposite direction of me. not that weird, considering we were in the middle of a neighborhood, next to a highschool, thats also near two pretty busy streets, so i just pass him up and continue on my way.

then i hear footsteps coming up behind me. 

(me; internally:) ohshit is he following me

i try my best to be rational in my head, "oh, hes probably just heading in the other direction, he'll pass me up" but i still looked behind me out of paranoia. i glanced behind myself a few times before i realized hes actually trying to get my attention. heres my best inscription of the conversation we had:

him: ay, ay, (trying to get my attention)

(i turn around to face him, as i thought, its a guy my age or a little younger.)

me: ?

him: what are you?

(he had a pretty thick accent and spoke in terse sentences, so im guessing he wasnt fluent in english? its pretty common were im from.)

me: huh?

him" what are you?

me: like...

him: what are you??

me: what do you mean?

him: gender, what are you?

(im a really feminine guy and i dress in girls clothes, also i just cut my hair really short so im extra androgynous, so his confusion was kinda understandable, but still ballsy to come up and ask a random person on the street)

me: im a guy.

(he then made a pretty comical confused face, like im talking his whole body moved. wasnt expecting him to react so much lol)

me: (laughing,) i know, right?

i dont remember who turned around first and walked off first, but that was the end of that conversation.

...or so i thought!

i walked up more, thinking nothing more than that i just had a pretty funny interection with a random, but then the guy came up to me again.

him: come, follow me

me: ?????

(he caught me pretty off guard and then walked in the same direction i was going, so i kept going in the same direction as well, not really thinking. we walked just a little bit down the street to a house with an alley behind it.

behind the houses in my neighborhood are little alleys in between the backyards, just big enough for a car to go through, but most are really overgrown and no one really goes there.)

him: (i couldnt tell if he was referring to the alleyway or the open backyard of the house we stopped at) come in here.

my FUCK THIS alarm went off in my head crazy so i made up a pretty lame excuse to not follow this kid into some overgrown alley/ random backyard.

me: sorry, im kinda in a rush, so, i gotta go...

him: what?

me: i got this thing i gotta do, sorry!

him: what do you mean?

me: i gotta go, sorry!

i couldnt tell if he was angry or bewildered but i kept on walking at a brisk pace cause i was pretty spooked. i dont think he wouldve hurt me, cause he was shorter than me and pretty scrawny, but i didnt want to risk anything. i kept looking over my shoulder as i walked to make sure he wasnt following me anymore, but he just stayed at that house looking at me. i think he called put to me a few times, i think he was telling me to turn back? like hell i would do that! eventually he went back into the alley/backyard and i didnt see him again. i avoided that street when i walked back home. i hope i dont have to avoid it anymore, cause i really like that area, but who knows. 

cause i like giving the benefit of the doubt to people, i can just brush it off as some weird kid doing weird kid stuff, maybe he thought i was cute, idk. im kinda curious what would've happened if i had followed him more, but i think missing out on a side quest is better than potentially getting touched inappropriately 

monstii out.

I MADE A PICREW

 

hi my name is monstii and i like drawing a while lot. like a lot a lot i think its becoming a problem BUT THATS BESIDES THE PONIT!!!!

i made a picrew you can go mess around with it by clicking the image aboive!!! (html magicks)

standard like rules apply dont use it for commerical purposes and if you do use the image you made crediying me would be appriciated!! other than that go wild!!! 

to be completely honest i had made this a few months earlier (ok like 1 or 2 but you get the point) BUT it got taken down because i had used a picrure of raidou kuzunoha (SMT JUMPSCARE) as the cover image as a place holder and i guess the picrew gods didnt like that and i had to make it from scratch all over again because they never responded to my appeal but WHATEVER its all in da past now!!!!!

thats it have a nice day(OR NIGHT ehehehehe >:3) 

monstii singing off 

not signing singing lalalaladeda

a follow up to the smart post!!!

 ִֶָ𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ🐇་༘࿐

link to smart on spotify 

you can also find them on other music streaming platforms such as apple music and tidal.

they focus on yamanaka a lot in the okinawa live video

hi my name is monstii and ive made a great discovery!!! there is not two, but three smart albums! yes, you heard me right! i missed one :(

the album in question is Reverie Musee, released in 1993. two years before their self-titled. 

it seems as if yamanaka isnt involved in this album?
i have no concrete proof, but its just a hunch.

I found out this existed like an hour ago, when i was looking for an hd version of self-titled's cover. when i went to smart's page on apple music, there were other albums by other people with the name smart, but this one has the logo (sm:art) and is spotify (as well as other streaming platforms, but on spotify it lists suzuki as writer/producer/arranger.) when i was digging for info for my first post on smart, i hadn't thought to check on music streaming platforms. i have no idea why! i guess i assumed i wouldnt find anything or they would be region locked or something. (which they arent, thank god)

discogs doesnt have or the yt channel that posted their other two albums OR smart's official(?) yt didnt have any mention of reverie musee, so i asuumed that self titled and zai phon were they only albums that smart had realesed in its lifetime. i guess not!! i cant find anything else on this album, other than the fact that suzuki is the writer/producer/arranger and its "author" (as spotify puts it, im not actually sure what that means) is a Mayumi. i have s very small inkling of who that could be, as there is a mayumi credited as a lyricist on self-titled, so that could be them? the author for self titled, YOU, is also credited as a lyricist. im guessing that the lyricists got the rights to distribute the album? i guess??? i dont know... :B

 ⋆˚✿˖° ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

their promotional material is so cool

truth be told, i have not listened to the album yet! when i found about it, i got really excited and decided to make a post about it right away! (i am typing this instead of doing homework) i have listened to a preview of it however, and what i listened to sounds basically what i expected early smart to sound like! i will elaborate more when i listen to it, which will be an edit to this post!

 ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Second-to-lastly, i would like to theorize a tiny bit! i have two educated guesses as to why smarts first album isnt documented like the others: 

the first is that reverie musee was realeased before smart officially "debuted" (basically sign on to a major label and get out of being indie, its more of a big deal in japan than in the west) i say this because there is no promotional material (that i know of) which would've been posted on the smart yt channel (probably) while zai phon and self-titled have mvs and commercials. my other piece of evidence is that it seems like there is no record label attached to reverie musee. on spotify, suzuki is listed as producer, composer and arranger, while self titled and and zai phon have other producers and suzuki is only listed as composer. the little triangle on the bottom right says smart, and while its not unusual, the other two albums dont have this little triangle. perhaps an independent label? smart's last two albums were released on eastworld and i dont have much reason to think that this was also released on eastworld.

my second theory is just simply lost/a lack of information. ive noticed that a lot of the information that ive used as sources for these posts (discogs, yt uploads etc) are just under two years old. for a band that has been around since 1993, thats kind of crazy! im not too sure what the sudden influx of smart info in 2022 is about, but most of it comes from 1995-1996 when self-titled had come out and zai phon was coming out. before or after that there is basically nothing i have gathered. (aside from the members other pursuits, but even then there there isnt much.) 

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

as much as i can theorize, i dont think answers are coming any time soon. smart is still really darn obscure! on spotify, they have 7 monthly listeners! ive never seen anything under 1000, let alone a single digit! i hope someday smart gets a second wind in the mainstream, as there a lot of questions i have that remain unanswered, most notably:

where did suzuki go? her name isnt attached to anything not-smart related, and it seems like she disappeared off the face of the earth after zai-phon's release. while its not unheard of for artists to not do music anymore and get away from the public eye, i think suzuki is a really talented producer and songwriter, and it makes me kind of sad that she never did anything other than being in smart. 

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☀︎ ⋆⁺₊⋆

thats basically all i have to say, and after i review reverie musee, my final post about smart until i find anymore big information!

have a great day and as always,

monstii signing off. 

 *ੈ✩‧₊˚ 

music - ITS OUT ITS FINALLY OUT

 

HI MY NAME IS MONSTII YOU CAN LISTEN TO MY NEW EP HERE THANK YOU HOLY MOLY

hi my name is monstii and i am a very calm person. i did it!! yippee!! hooray!! wahoo!!

as promised, monstii's ep flower thinking // easy living has been released from its containment! you can either listen to it on youtube or bandcamp as i have previously linked! go!!! help it integrate with society!!!! its very lonely...!

hmmm not much else to say besides that. no rambling today, sorry! 

as much as i would like to joke about deadlines, no one would get them because no one reads these. (or perhaps my loyal fanbase is all bugs who cannot type on their compuers... if that is so, i am so sorry.)

i'll leave you with these humorous .gifs that i made using a very handy website!!!! (not sponsored) 

ok monstii signing off. having a really great super great day!111!!!!

flower thinking//easy living coming soon!

                                                                   ❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀

yeahhh babey

hi! my name is monstii and i said this would come out before august 13th.

that didn't happen. 

turns out that adjusting back to school would consume a lot more of my time and energy than i thought, so work stopped for a while. im still working on finding the balance of hobbies and work, but i have enough free time now to continue working on music!

if im not lazy, monstii's new ep should be up on youtube and bandcamp in the next few weeks. please stay tuned!

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

Miscellaneous - monstii's cd collection

 °❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

i drank an arizona sweet tea and now my stomach hurts
unrelated just wanted to share

hi!!! my name is monstii and i think cds are pretty neat. they are (usually) cheap, easy to carry around, and generally have pretty okay-to-good quality. while i dont think they will have the same comeback that records did in the 2010's, i still like to buy and collect them, usually from thrift stores.

in my experience, thrift stores or places that places that sell secondhand items usually dont have great selections, but thats why i like looking through whatever they have. they always have stuff that really makes you wonder, y 'know? especially the really old albums. like, who were the people were behind this stuff? did they want to make it big? was this their lifes work? was this just a quick cashgrab? so many questions, but no answers. such is the tragedy of albums without discogs or wikipedia pages.

⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆

enough of my rambling, time to talk about my actual collection! i'll put an image, informational link (wikipedia, discogs, etc) and some words for each album. BGM: masoyoshi takanaka.

❀𖤣𖥧𖡼⊱✿⊰𖡼𖥧𖤣❀

Franz Ferdinand - Self Titled (2004)

im eating some really good macaroni rn

Starting off real strong, we have franz ferdinand's debut album! i actually found this cd just as i was really getting into franz ferdinand, so this album came to me at a perfect time. its in really good condition too, the disc isnt scratched all that much and the lyric booklet is almost mint. for 90 cents this was a steal! god bless thrift stores. i'd say my favorite song from this album would either be dark of the mantinee or michael. whenever i listen to michael i wonder if i know a michael in real life. i dont.

⊹ ࣪ ﹏𓊝﹏𓂁﹏⊹ ࣪ ˖

Procul Harum - The Prodigal Stranger (1991)

hooonk mimimi hooonk mimimi

next is this album. 

i can only describe it as mid. its not amazing. its not bad, either. it doesnt do anything egregious or terribly striking, but my brain kind of shut off after listening to this album because at the end of the day its basic prog rock that feels like its trying to say something but the message and music are so run-of-the- mill that it just left me feeling bored. ready to fly is- wait wrong one

if your into radio friendly rock check it out maybe.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

Daft Punk - Discovery (2001)

shep my og husbando <3

discovery is one of my favorite albums to this day. i love it so much that i actually bought it new, which is only something i do with albums that i really like. getting into daft punk and listening to this album and RAM are what really opened my eyes to music, listening to touch back when i was like 12 was like a religious experience. good stuff.

-ˋˏ ༻❁✿❀༺ ˎˊ-

Bee and Flower - What's Mine is yours (2003)

nice lamp

alright to be completely honest with you i havent listened to this entire album. BUT, what i have listened to, i found enjoyable. its slow and kind of sultry, with folk tinges. not life changing, but not everything has to be. i got this cd at a small cd store at a mall near me, they had a big selection, but the album cover to this one stuck out to me. overall nice!

⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆

Enya - Paint the Sky with Stars (1997)

she lives in a castle???

This cd really caught my eye with its wonderful design. the covers and lyric booklet are very aesthetically pleasing, the music itself is also very nice, enya is an amazing composer, her songs have a dreamlike feel, some of her song feel like they would be apart of a tolkein film. (wait, they were!)

overall i like it, although its not something i'd listen to casually.

♫⋆｡♪₊˚♬ﾟ.

Hairspray Original Soundtrack (2007)

GOOD MORNING BALTIMOOOOOOOOOORRREEEEEEEEEEE

I. love. hairspray. its my favorite musical. i got to see it live with my school theatre group when it was at the majestic theatre in 2023 i think? its even better live, even in the nosebleed section. while the movie version of the soundtrack is different (new songs, some songs from the broadway production arent there) its still wonderful. the movie does the play great justice. careful playing it outloud though, 

you'll get called a theatre kid!

∘ ∘ ∘ ( °ヮ° ) ?

From the Cradle - Eric Clapton (1994)

more like eric CRAPton!!! hahahahahahahaha
what the fuck hes still alive???????
HES BRITISH?????????????????????????

lowkey? this aint mine i found it my house. i listened to it for like a minute. im a fake music nerd i know but blues just isnt my thing 😭

apparently this is a cover album? thats crazy 

moving on

જ⁀➴ ♡

Toshihiro Nakanishi - Silent Romance (1991 reissue)

im just playn games 
i know this plastic love silent romaaance

i dont know why this caption is weird help

This cd was actually released in japan, what its doing in texas i'll have no idea, but this is a great find! (its in almost pristine condition too, mutsve spawned at the wrong base) the inside booklet is in all japanese, but when i translated it (if i remember correctly) its Nakanishi talking about seeing silent movies as a kid or something like that? its basically classical pieces that are reminiscent of older movie scores. its quite nice.

⋆༺𓆩☠︎︎𓆪༻⋆

Enigma - Le Roi Est Mort, Vive Le Roi! (1996, translucent ver)

it seems as if beige and black are popular
cover art color choices.

this is yet another album that caught my attention becasue of the outside cover. this album has two versions: one with a regular opaque cover and one with a hip and trendy translucent plastic cover. its pretty trippy, something you have to see in real life. (no i will NOT put a gif/video im too lazy) it reminds me of the music video to take me out. the album is mostly ambience, with a i think kind of folk song? its been a while since ive listened to it, to be honest. still pretty cool though.

XXXXXXXX

ok so i actually havent listened to these last two albums, but i can still say a few things about one. maybe i'll make a follow up post about the other one.

XXXXXXXX

artpace - The Happening 2005

good lord what do we have here!?

artpace is a san antonio art musuem thats does like charity work and stuff, you can read their website. i really only know about it because my school participated in its annual chalk it up event this year. it was pretty fun! i got some free HEB brand oreos. 

the happening seems to be an annual gala event that they host to fundraise for whatever, and im assuming they gave these out at the 2005 happening? the earliest happening that the artpace blog documents is 2014, or possibly the "museo jumex" event, but that post isnt dated somehow. 

if my math is correct, since 2014's happening was the ninth, 2005 would be the actually be the first happening to... happen. the cd doesnt give much info, the paper inside is basically just a setlist so, i dont know! its pretty interesting that they ended up in a thrift store, two or three actually, but i only picked up one. (maybe i shouldve bought the other ones and sold them for an obscene price... oh well. too late.)

im not sure if there are cds for other happenings, but i kind of doubt it. 

artpace, if this cd is a confidential secret, dont blame me. blame the guy who donated his probably rare, limited edition cd. 

or maybe artpace just had a bunch of extras and wanted to get rid of them? who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

𖧷⇝☾☁︎︎☽⇜𖧷

this chicago hits album  :T

witty caption

i got this at the same place as i got the bee and flower cd. i like the song saturday in the park, so me, in my infinite knowledge, decided to buy this out of EVERYTHING ELSE THEY HAD AT THE STORE.

im not... mad, per say, i dont think this is a terrible choice made by past me, but i really couldve spent the five dollars on like, play or somethign i dunno. (play has been haunting me btw. i keep on seeing it whenever i go to a music store. i think this is a sign from nyarlatholep.)

 

*ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚

and that would conclude your look into my cd collection!!!!!! yay!!! wahoo!!!! wowie zowie!!!

im so tired

i dont have much to say, my 3ds broke last night and im really sad, but actually not really because the sd card is still intact... but my style savvy save file is probably gone :((((

okay that was off topic, my apologies comrade. maybe someday i will get my hands on a carnation cd...

but i believe that would be nothing but a pipe dream... (bars)

actually i was THIS CLOSE to getting a love sculpture cd from suruga ya but something was wrong with the card i was usin and they rejected my order. CURSES, CURSE ALL OF THEM

alr imma head out, have a good day and all that allright? go give some love to the cds that are probably collecting dust on your shelf right now.

monstii signing off.

      ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ.